Final Fantasy Fables
by nekoninja123
Summary: Famous fairy tales, fables, and movies are redone with Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts Characters. First story: Cinderella. Not good at summeries.


Disclaimer: I don't own Cinderella or Anyone from Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts or Portal or anywhere else I forgot to mention.

However the Fairies, and totally character I made up/know.

ONCE UPON A TIME...

"Screw that!" Kadaj said, cutting the words in half with his sword.

The house was full of people, who were, to put it lightly, trashing the place.

"Put that down!" Sephiroth yelled, catching the lamp in mid-air.

"WHAT IS THIS!?" Jenova was home.

"Sephiroth did it!" Kadaj yelled.

Once there was an evil Scientist by the name of Hojo. He was married to a very lovely- Who am I kidding? I very hideous, controlling, ugly monster alien by the name of Jenova.

"Don't talk about Mother that way!" Loz yelled.

Anyway, Jenova had already had three kids, Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj, by the time she was married to Hojo and Hojo had only one who he treasured. Sephiroth. And at that moment 'One Winged Angel began to play.

"Why does Sephiroth get a theme?" Yazoo whined.

Shut up and let me finish! Jenova hated Sephiroth because Hojo loved Sephiroth more then her children. I mean who could blame him? Sephiroth is way cooler. I do like Kadaj, but Kadaj doesn't have an as$ wing. And that's exactly why Hojo liked Sephiroth better. Because Sephiroth had an as$ wing. So Jenova made Sephiroth work with his as$ wings. Dust the furniture, sweep the floor, wash the dishes. So Sephiroth's once beautiful as$ wing was reduced to a lowly cleaning tool. He was forced to wear a raged dress and sleep with Hojo's other experiments and Yuffie. Who never shut up.

"Look at this dress? Isn't it pretty?" Yazoo said, twirling around in it.

"Yazoo, are you actually enjoying this?" Kadaj asked. He too was in a dress.

"Do I have to wear this?" Loz asked, wearing a pink dress made out of the purist silk.

"Yes!" Yazoo yelled. "Sephirella!"

"What?" Sephiroth asked.

"Get us the other dress!"

"Why?"

"Get it right! This is Cinderella! YOU do stuff for US!" Kadaj explained.

"Actually, it's Sephirella," Loz corrected.

"I don't care. Sephie, just get the dresses," Yazoo told Sephiroth, annoyance in his voice.

"Yes, Yazoo" Sephiroth sighed, doing as he was told.

So this is the way it went, because Hojo had been dead for a long while. How you ask? He ODed on Jenova Cells. See 'ella' is a female name. Sephiroth is in a dress so Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo call him Sephirella. Sephiroth female.

"Like they're one to talk. I'm not the only one in a dress. Yazoo looks more like a girl then me!" Sephiroth mumbled.

"I heard that!" Yazoo yelled.

"Bite me!" Sephiroth said, grabbing three other dresses.

Mean while, the royal Prince Cloud was in his emo corner, cutting himself because his old girlfriend died on him.

"Why don't you stop mopping and find a new girlfriend?" one of the servant asked.

"I don't expect you to understand, Leon! After all Aeris was the most beautiful, kind-hearted girl in the kingdom!"

"Tifa is equally kind-hearted, I'm sure."

"She owns a bar! Besides, she's a spazz."

"You're and emo kid. You'd go together perfectly. She would cheer you up."

"Leon, you are not helping!"

"Why not host a ball? Invite all the girls in the kingdom to find yourself a new one."

"It's too soon..."  
"Look you can't mop in your room forever. The queen doesn't like you bleeding on your carpet."

"But it's black! You can't tell!"

"Prince Cloud, don't be difficult. I don't feel like dealing with your emo today."

"Can we use black and red as the main colors at the ball?"

Leon started.  
"Please?" Cloud asked, giving Leon emo puppy eyes.

"Are you going to cut yourself?"

"No..."

"You're thrown isn't going to be in the corner."

"Aw why not!"

"Black and red for the colors, or emo corner."

"Fine. Black and red as the colors."

"I'll see what I can do."

So 'Prince' Cloud set out invitation to all the beautiful ladies in Nibelheim.

"I'm so excited!" Yazoo squeed.

"Are you sure you're a guy?" Sephiroth asked.

"Be quiet, Sephirella! You're just jealous that I get to go see the hot Prince Cloud and you have to stay here and do chores!"

"I don't like Prince Cloud."

"You should."

"I'm a guy."

"Play the part!"

"...You are way to into this."

"Why am I always the one wearing pink?" Loz asked, stepping out in a poofy, pink silk dress with pink ribbons around the bottom, and frill around the collar and sleeves.

"Mother likes it," Yazoo said, twirling in his green-blue strapless, with green flowers on the side.

"I look like an emo kid," Kadaj complained in his red and black dress.  
"You look beautiful," Jenova said. Jenova, too, was in a dress. It started out turquoise, and faded to white. "Now Sephirella I left a to do list for you on the kitchen table. We'll be back around midnight."

Sephiroth watched as Jenova and his 'sisters' went off to the ball. He went into the kitchen and found the to do list. "Clean toilets, feed the dog, clean out the cat box, was the walls and ceiling." Sephiroth made the list burst into flames by staring at it. They didn't even have a dog. Their cat, Red XIII wasn't really a cat. He was a wolf! Sephiroth sighed. His poor as$ wing got put through so much abuse.

Suddenly a fairy popped up. This fairy wasn't any ordinary fairy, though. The wardrobe of jeans, a red skirt, a blue shirt, a white jacket, purple-blue sunglasses, a nurses hat, a red/white/purple scarf and mask, you could tell this fairy was special. She also had silver hair and cat ears. A tiger cub and black cat clung to her while she hovered in the air with sky blue wings. Her wand was covered with bandaids.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Bandaid Fairy! You want to go to the ball, right?"

"No."

"OMG LOLZ! You have an as$ wing!"

"Yes, I've noticed."

"What happened to your as$ wing? It's all dirty..."  
"I am forced to use my as$ wing to clean this house everyday!" Sephiroth explained, a hint of sadness in his voice.

The Bandaid Fairy went to touch Sephiroth's as$ wing.

"Hey, you stay away from me!"

"Aw come on! I'll need to make you pretty if you want to go to the dance!"

"I don't want to go to the dance!"

"You don't want to see Prince Cloud?"

"No!"

"That won't do. The Yaoi fairies won't be happy about that."

"The Yaoi fairies?"

"Yes. One of them forgets to pee and the other one wear and eye patch."

"How many of you are there?"

"Quite a lot of us, actually. There are the two leader fairies, the Bedpost Fairy, at least a dozen others."

Suddenly another fairy popped up. This one held a plate of cookies, and had a snake around her neck. Her white hair was up in a spiked pony tail and she had strange black tattoos all over her body. She wore black pants and a black tank top. Her wings were black with red stripes. "Cookie?" She offered to Sephiroth.

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Cookie Fairy! THE CAKE IS A LIE!"

"I thought you said you were the Cookie Fairy."

"I am. I like other sweets, but Cookies are my main ones. Sometimes I'm the Funnel Cake Fairy depending on my mood... Anyway I wanted to help!"

"He's not going to the ball," The Bandaid Fairy informed the Cookie Fairy.

"The Yaoi Fairies won't be happy 'bout that."

"I know..."

"Shiny!" the Cookie Fairy yelled as she smacked her cookie shaped wand onto a pumpkin. "Pimp My Pumpkin!"  
"LOLZ!"

"I know that was a bad joke, but I had to do- The stars are pretty tonight."

"Yeah they are..."

Sephiroth sweat dropped.

"Come on Sephie you'd be ridin' in style!" the Cookie fairy said.

"Please!" both the Bandaid Fairy and the Cookie Fairy gave Sephiroth the kitty kat eyes.

"Fine..." They sure were persistent.

"Yay!" the Cookie Fairy yelled. She smacked random things in the garden with her wand. Six of them turned into skeleton horses like the ones out of Harry Potter and one item turned into a raven while another one turned into a giant man eating plant that would of done Marluxia proud.

The Bandaid Fairy slapped a giant bandaid on Sephiroth's as$ wing and clothes. Sephiroth screamed in pain but when he looked down he was wearing the most beautiful dress anyone had ever seen. It was so beautiful I can't even describe it. As for his as$ wing is was shining so brightly that it was blinding.

"I can't see anything!" the Cookie Fairy yelled, tripping over the Bandaid Fairy. "I told you my eyes were sensitive to light!"

"Sorry," the Bandaid Fairy apologized and tapped Sephiroth's as$ wing, making it shiny and soft.

"SHINY!" the Cookie Fairy clung to his as$ wing. "It's so soft."

The Bandaid Fairy snuck a pat to Sephiroth's as$ wing, and indeed it was soft as goose feathers. The Bandaid Fairy turned to look at the carriage. "This probably isn't the best thing..." She sweat dropped.

"Hey I saw the 5th Harry Potter movie, or was it the 6th one? Anyway the horses has awesomeness sauce!"

"Why is Jack Skellington the coachman?"  
"'Cuz he rocks."

"Won't argue with that. But we need to change that..." and with one giant bandaid slap and a flick of the wrist the horses turned into white stallions with as$ wings and the driver turned into Vincent Valentine. It was a scene fit for a princess, until the Cookie Fairy argued that Vincent need a lead roll in a Fairy Tail, he was turned into Chaos.

"I think he might eat the carriage, though," the Bandaid Fairy worried.

"Or the horses... Okay here's some cake -which is a lie- and cookies for your journey. Try not to spill them on your dress. Have a good dance!"

"Oh one more thing. You must be back by midnight," the Bandaid Fairy warned.

"Why?" Sephiroth questioned.

"Magik only works for so long. It sucks. I demand Vanishaga when I go to fight the Antlion!"

Cloud sighed. He had danced and talked to almost all the ladies here and he, and not one of them sparked his interest.

That's when Tifa burst down the door. "CLOUD!"

Oh shizzat.

"You didn't invite me to the ball!"

"I thought you invited her!" Cloud whispered to Leon.

"I thought you didn't want me to because she was a spazz!" Leon whispered back.

"CLOUD!"

At this point Cloud jumped up and ran, Tifa right behind him. Barret, one of Cloud's guard gave chase, shooting at them.  
"No Barret! Don't shoot! She's a friend!"

Jenova watched as Prince Cloud was being chased by a very angry girl. Ah young love. She reached out a tentacle and grabbed some of the snacks one the table. One of the servants standing near by stared. "Hello, can I get some more wine?" Jenova asked, holding an empty wine glass up in one tentacle.

The servant dropped his tray and ran, screaming.

How rude. It was almost as if they had never seen an alien floating around in a dress before.

Sephiroth arrived at the ball and sighed his broth- er- sister would not be happy to see him here. Just then Prince Cloud ran right into Sephiroth.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Cloud apologized.

"Um... It's okay?"

"Cloud! So this is her huh!?" Tifa yelled. She thrust a finger at him. "This is war!" Tifa then stopped off.

"What's her deal?" Sephiroth asked.

"Don't mind her. She's a spazz. Hey weren't you the one that killed Aeris?"

"Uh... No, no I wasn't!" Sephiroth said, throwing his 50 foot sword behind him, hearing the sound of glass break. "Oops..."

"What's your name?"

"Sephirell- I mean- Sephiroth."

"May I have this dance?"Cloud smiled, obviously he didn't know Sephiroth was a guy. Baka.

"Sure?" Suddenly the clock chimed 12 midnight. "Oh no! I have to go!"

"Why?"

"Ya know magik wears off at midnight- uh... Curfew," Sephiroth flew off with his as$ wing.

Cloud sighed.

"Find someone?" Leon asked.

"Yes," Cloud answered in a lovestruck tone.

"You realize that was a guy right?"

"You want me to find someone and then you go and insult them! You're making me emo!" Cloud yelled, running off to his emo corner.

Leon just sighed and walked after him.

The next day Cloud announced that he found a beautiful princess that he wanted to marry, but she had escaped him at the ball. She had a unique features, a very soft, shiny wing that came out of her behind. He went around the village looking for such a lady, but to no avail. He finally came to Jenova's house.

"Hello," Cloud greeted.

"OMG It's Prince Cloud!" Yazoo squealed like a like a fangirl.

"I just came to see if anyone has a soft and shiny as$ wing."

"No I'm sorry-" Jenova started to say, but was cut off.  
"I do." Sephiroth walked into the room.

"Well yes, Sephirella has an as$ wing, but it isn't shiny or soft."

Suddenly two fairies popped up. "Are you kidding me!?" a fairy with an eye patch yelled.

"YEAH- Oh wait, I forgot to pee, I'm sorry..."

Both of them started to laugh.

"Who says that this is not the exact as$ wing Cloud fell in love with last night?" the Cookie Fairy asked.

"I DEMAND FUNNEL CAKE!" the Cookie Fairy yelled.

"Who are you?" Jenova asked.

"OMG! It's Jenova! Where's Hojo? I want to kick him in the nuts!" the Cookie Fairy laughed.

"My husband is dead."

"He married you? I guess he really was crazy."

"What are you doing in my house?"

"We're here to hook up these two fine people!" one of the Yaoi Fairies said.

The Bandaid Fairy slapped a giant bandaid on Sephiroth's as$ wing and with another loud scream, it became shiny and soft.

"You do know this is my son, right?" Jenova asked Cloud.

"What? He's a guy?" Cloud asked, going emo.  
"Don't look so emo," Yazoo said. "You can marry me!"

"Yazoo is a guy, too," Sephiroth said smiling evilly, making Yazoo go emo, too.

"Cloud!" Tifa ran in a grabbed Cloud. "Let's go get married!"

"Nooooooo!" Cloud yelled, clawing the ground, trying to get away.

So Sephiroth decided since his home sucked to become an honorary fairy and was dubbed the As$ Wing Fairy. Kadaj ended up marrying Yuffie, Yazoo became a very famous fashion designer, and Loz helps him run his clothing store, Leon was promoted to head servant, and Jenova ended up in a tank somewhere.

Alls well that ends well.


End file.
